Gary's Alan Partridge Quotes

Alan Partridge Quotes- Aha!

Aha! Alan Partridge- Gary's Global Arena Aha!

I'm Alan Partridge

THE ORIGINAL ALAN PARTRIDGE QUOTES SITE ON THE NET!

Compiled By Gary Mc Keown- Please e-mail me any quotes you can think of.

QUOTES

Knowing me, Alan Partridge, knowing you, the police- Aha.

Knowing me Alan Partridge, sacking you, Glen Ponder, Aha!

No way, you're a mentalist!

What does a Swedish Fred Flintstone say? 'Yabba Dabba Doo!' No, wait a minute...It's 'Abba Dabba Doo!"

I'm an American

Alan's accusations to farmer:

You are a big posh sod with plums in your mouth, and the plums have mutated have have got beaks.
You make pigs smoke
You feed beefburgers to swans
You have big sheds, but nobody's allowed in. And in these sheds you have 20 ft high chickens, and these chickens are scared because the don't know why they're so big, and they're going 'Oh why am I so massive?' and they're looking down at all the little chickens and they think they're in an aeroplane because all the other chickens are so small.- Do you deny that? No, I think his silence speaks volumes.

It's not my fault- I didn't know it was loaded.

Do you smell gas?

Last month I was voted 'Man of the Moment' by TV Quick Magazine. In 1988 I was sports reporter of the year for Radio Norwich, and 10 years ago I was broadcasting highly complex traffic information to the whole of the East Anglia region.

I have 104 friends.

Alan's ideas for TV shows:

"Swallow"- a regional detective series based in Norwich
"Alan Attack"- a slapstick version of the Cook Report
Arm-Wrestling with Chas and Dave
Knowing M.E. Knowing You
Inner-city Sumo
Cooking In Prison
A Partridge Amongst The Pigeons
Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank
Monkey Tennis

An anagram of Alan Partridge is Grate Drain Pal

I'm such a bighead!

Whooooo...whoooo...who do you think you are?

I bought a bag of tungston tip screws, never going to use them, never going to use them...........

You wouldn't have a battery for an Ericsson?

Jurassic Park!

You can be David Copperfield, and I'll be Alan Partridge! Ahaaaaaa!

Let's hear it from the horses' mouths

Don't look in there!

Zombies by their very nature are inconsistent

The boys are back in the barracks

Can I have a couple of eggs for breakfast, and I'd like you to lay them you chicken

Overtaking National Express coaches is a long, drawn out affair

If you see a family having a nice picnic in a field, with a pond, you plough the family into the field, fill in the pond, you blow up the tree and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother.

There's been some kind of conspiracy to deprive me of viewers.

Will I take out Sue Cook?

'Knowing Me, Knowing Ye'- Alan's Family Motto

I have not got bad breath. Nothing has died in my mouth!

I was made promises about storage that weren't kept

Move and fire, move and fire, move and fire!

I'm going nowhere Lynn...quite literally- I'm on the ring-road

Knowing me Alan Partridge, knowing you Alan Partridge. Ahaaaaa.

Take a chance, take a chance, take a chance, take a chance, take a chance, take a chance.........

Waterloo, Ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Is this man injured?

Diddledy-diddledy-dee, Two Ladies,
Diddledy-diddledy-dee, Two Ladies,
Diddledy-diddledy-dee, And I'm the only man, yawwww.
Diddledy-diddledy-dee, I like it,
Diddledy-diddledy-dee, They like it,
Diddledy-diddledy-dee, This two for one, badom-badom-bom (bom)...............
I'm sorry. That was misjudged.

So, how many people were killed in the Irish Famine?

This is my Sports Casual Collection.

A propos- it's Latin- well you should have a basic grasp of Latin if you're going to work in Currys

Remember you saw in here first.

It's 50 to 6

Let me reassure you- Queen Elizabeth II is not dead, unless of course she went in the night, and has yet to be discovered.

Dr. No.....vocal chords

It's called a ladyboy

I'm under a cow!

Oh you cheeky monkey, you've made me forget.

Is Fernando Partridge there please?

Nick Hairs
Y. Fronts
T. Otter

Hello.....Hello. Is anyone there?

Crab Sticks do not actually contain any crab at all, and since 1993 have had to be labelled Crab Flavoured Sticks

(In robot voice) TEA OR COFFEE. TEA OR COFFEE.

B. Oddie. That's Bill Oddie!

Derrs more to Oirland Dan Dis

This man has no dignity!

Is he alright?
I'm afraid he's dead
Cover him up!

This is Radio Norwich, and that was Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell, a song in which Joni complains that they 'paved paradise to put up a parking lot', a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise, something which Joni singularly fails to point out, because it doesn't quite fit with her blinkered view of the world. It's 4.37 a.m. and you're listening to 'Up with The Partridge'..............

No! It's full title is KMKYWAP.

Sack Lynne

Idea for show- Yaughting Disasters.

BANG! Oh my God, what happens now?!?!

Cliff Thorburn is an unknown quantity.

That's the thing about live TV- it can blow up in your face, but then you're used to it- things blowing up in your face.

Another exclusive for KMKYWAP!

Smell the cheese!

Tonight, I'm going to be scaling the North Face of Chatmandu!

There's the police- I'll be chatting to them in a short while. In the meantime, enjoy the rest of the show.

Alan Partridge- Gary's Global Arena