| Father Ted A guide to every single episode! |
Father Ted, by Hat Trick Productions, was first broadcast on Channel 4 in the UK on 21st April 1995, and was an instant success, becoming Channel 4's most succesful series ever. Altogether there were 25 episodes: 6 in Series 1, 10 in Series 2, a Christmas Special, and 8 episodes in Series 3. Below, we have produced a short summary of every episode. Series 1 was made in 1995, Series 2 in 1996, and Series 3 in 1998. A week before the 3rd Series was due to be broadcast, Dermot Morgan tragically died of a heart attack.
| Series 1 |
Good Luck Father Ted- The inaugural episode sees Ted getting himself ready for a Telly Eireann interview. However, when Fun Land comes to Craggy Island, merry mishaps are bound to ensue, but the question is, will Ted get to fulfill his aim of stardom?
Entertaining Father Stone- Several years ago, Ted casually invited the invariably boring Father Stone to come and visit. The next day he turned up at the doorstep, and every year since he has stayed with the priests. Ted tries various plans to get rid of Father Stone, but when all fails, he resorts to calling for divine intervention- however things go a bit wrong when Ted's wishes come true. Includes the famous scene in the hospital waiting room, where Dougal wonders how Father Stone would know anything about medical tests.
The Passion of St. Tibulus- When a loophole in the law allows the promiscuous film to be shown on Craggy Island, Bishop Brennan asks the trio to protest. Predictably, the film becomes a record success, and the only thing that will save the priests being relocated to the ends of the earth is an incriminating video of the bishop with his son, which Father Jack finds.
Competition Time- It's the first year that Ted gets to impersonate his favourite star, Elvis, in the All-Priests Stars-In-Their-Eyes Lookalike Competition, but unfortunately, the other two priests have the same idea. The trio also get to play host to the ex-BBC TV presenter, Henry Sellars. Henry has been off drink for some time after being sacked for alcoholism, but Craggy Island is the last place he should have come, and unfortunately he reverts back to his former persona.
And God Created Woman- Ted gets to meet his favourite author, Polly Clarke, and when she turns up at his door, he believes fate has drawn them together. When he's invited to her house, he believes this is it, and says a mass in a couple of seconds to get up to her house in time. However, he's disappointed to find that the other priests, and a load of nuns are there also, and that Polly actually wants to become a nun!
Grant Unto Him Eternal Rest- After OD'ing of floor polish, Jack is found to be dead. In his will he stipulates that being 'of sound body and mind' that he leaves his fortune of £250,000 to his 2 colleagues, provided that they spend one night with his corpse to ensure he is dead. Everything's going according to plan, until Jack suddenly comes back to life 'like that fella' E.T.' as Ted says, and the 250 grand eludes Ted and Dougal for another while.
| Series 2 |
Hell- Ted decides to take a trip to his friend's caravan, but finds that Dougal forgot to bring anything. Things go from bad to worse when Jack goes missing and they find that there are only 2 tourist attractions. Things finally reach a head when the 'lively' Noel Furlong turns up with a bunch of friends for a through-the-night party.
Think Fast, Father Ted- Thought by many to be the best show ever, this episode sees Ted fix a raffle, which Dougal can do nothing but win. Unfortnately, Jack hijacks the prize, a car, and gets it crushed between 2 trucks. This is also the episode where the hilarious Father Purcell, the most boring priest in the world, appears with his monotonous monologue about boilers and envelopes.
Tentacles of Doom- The Holy Stone of Clonrichert is to be upgraded, and three Bishops come over to stay for the ceremony. To avoid problems, Ted trains Jack to say a few phrases such as 'That would be an ecumenical matter.' Unfortunately, one of the bishops dies, another converts to being a hippy, and the third get the stone lodged in certain place by Jack.
The Old Grey Whistle Theft- Dougal falls under the bad influence of Father Damo, and when a whistle is stolen from a picnic area supervisor, Ted is accused after it is found in his jacket. He concocts a far-flung excuse as to why he stole it, before it's revealed that the real culprit is Damo.
A Song For Europe- Ted decides to have a bet against Father Dick Byrne to see who can get into the Eurovision. After their first attempt falls flat on its face, Ted and Dougal decide to set the lyrics of their song, My Lovely Horse, to the tune of an old song which came 6th in a song for Norway in the 70s. However things go wrong when the original song is found to be more famous than they thought. Despite this, they win A Song For Ireland, and go the the finals of the Eurosong (and get 0 points!)
The Plague- Dougal gets a pet rabbit, but at the wrong tome, as the rabbitphobe, Bishop Brennan, is coming to investigate Father Jack's 'nudey sleepwalking.' Everything that can go wrong does, when Len ends up in bed with the rabbits AND Jack!
Rock-a-hula Ted- Ted is invited to judge the Lovely Girls competition, but unfortunately the exrtreme feminist rock-star, Niamh Connolly arrives on the island. Not only does Dougal give her the house, but she ends up taking out Mrs. Doyle for meal, leaving Ted and Dougal to create havoc in the house!
Cigarettes, Alcohol and Rollerblading- Ted enters into a Lenten bet with Dick Byrne, but when the trio cannot refrain from indulging in their favourite pastimes, the enlist the help of a certain sister Assumpta. She's goes over the top in torturing them, so they escape to Rugged Island, where they find Dick and friends breaking his side off the bet. To get revenge, they send Assumpta to Rugged Island to give the priests a bit of persecution.
New Jack City- Jack contracts 'Hairy-Hand Syndrome' and has to be sent to 'Jurassic Park' to recover. His replacement, the jungle-music playing Fintan Stack, proves too much for Ted and Dougal, so they set off to get Father Jack back home. In a twist of fate, Father Stack also contracts the syndrome, saving the priests from having to exact revenge on him.
Flight Into Terror- Ted (with a phobia of flying) and Dougal are returning from the Shrine of Kinlettle, when Dougal accentally empies the fuel tanks. Ted is asked to run a competition to see who can win the only 2 parachutes on board- little do they know that Jack has already escaped with both of them! Includes the hilarious moment when Dougal simply drops the receiver at the end of a call.
Christmas Special 1996
A Christmassy Ted- Ted, Dougal, and a load of other priests are caught in a massive lingerie, but fortunately Ted leads them out safely in war movies style mission. In this episode, Ted is also presented with the Gloden Cleric Award, but an imposter preist, Todd Unctious, tries to steal it. This is also the episode when Mrs. Doyle is heart-broken to receive an automatic teamaker.
| Series 3 |
Are You Right There, Father Ted?- Ted is relocated to a premier-parish in Dublin, but is promptly returned to Craggy Island after some financial irregularities are discovered. Unfortunately, Ted is branded a racist, after events such as impersonating a Chinese person, and giving a nazi-style salute out the window (on which there is a square piece of dirt covering his upper-lip) so he decides to hold a celebration of Chinese culture. Unfortunately, when he invites them around afterwards, the house is decked out in nazi memorabilia.
Chirpy Burpy Cheap Sheep- Ted uncovers a conspiracy in a livestock competition, and after a scooby-doo style bit of deduction, he uncovers the culprits.
Speed 3- The island's milkman, Pat Mustard, is sacked for 'inappropriate behaviour' and Dougal takes over his job. However, in revenge at Ted uncovering his secret and getting him sacked, he plants a bomb on Dougal's float. When it goes under 4 MPH, the bomb will explode- will Ted be able to save Dougal?
The Mainland- On a visit to the mainland, Ted and Dougal bump into 'Victor Meldrew' but unfortunately, Ted fails to impress him. Mrs. Doyle and her friend are also arrested, and Ted is forced to pay bail to have them released. Jack ends up in Alcoholics Anonymous, but it fails to have any effect on him.
Escape From Victory- Ted is lookinf forward to winning this year's over 75s priest's football competition, but his top player is unluckily 'incapacitated.' He comes up with an ingenious plan to win, using rubber arms and a remote-controlled wheelchair, but unfortunately the referee catches-on, and Ted loses the bet he had on with Dick Byrne.
Kicking Bishop Brennan Up The Arse- Losing the bet with Father Dick means Ted has to kick Bishop Brennan up the rear-end. He lures the bishop, and his Personal Assistant, to the island by convicing them that an image of the bishop has appeared. Ted believes he has won the bet by tricking the bishop, but Dougal and his camera foul-up his plans.
Night Of The Nearly Dead- Mrs. Doyle wins a poetry competition on her favourite TV show, and as a prize her hero, Eoin Mc Love comes to visit. However, word gets around, and the house is swamped by middle-aged women. Mrs. Doyle freaks Eoin out by baking a jumper into a banana cake, and Eoin helps himself to household items.
Going To America- Ted bumps into American priest Buzz Cagney, and is offered the chance to go to America to be a priest. However, his friends think they've been invited too, and Ted faces a moral dilemma. As it turns out, the American offer isn't as good as first thought, when it turns out he's going to a crime-ridden ghetto, so Ted pulls out at the last minute.
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